Firstly, I gotta thank Zao Yi for doing up the banner for me. Heh, so now you can actually see the title of the blog! Haha, so.. THANK YOU =P
There's a river of tears I need to cry, been holding back for years. There's a mountain so high I need to climb to wipe away the fears. Solitude and loneliness have been a friend of mine. As I'm turning my back on emptiness, I leave them all behind
Ok, onto what I wanted to blog about. The past 2 days, the tutors keep doing little things to irritate me. Just yesterday, I found out that instead of being the first person to find out my ranking in the cohort for the recently concluded prelims, I was probably the last (together with the rest of the class who didn't know with me, but before that happened, close to a third or half the class probably already knew -.-) to know of it. 9th in the school. Haha, I don't think I've EVER pulled that off, maybe it's cause lots of people didn't do so well for the prelims and I happened to pull off major flukes for most of my papers. Wow, 9th in school, I've NEVER done that before, not even in primary school.
Who knows just where we're going? Does tomorrow belong to me?
Let's be clear about the whole tutors announcing my ranking to everyone but me issue here. I go to school on Thursday morning, and then somehow, L in my class tells me that according to T, my econs tutor, I have a single digit rank in the cohort. Of course, I have the normal "whoa! Are you sure??" reaction. Then I realise something, my own form tutor told everyone BUT ME that I was ranked 36th in the cohort in July. Seriously, what is their problem? Not that I mind them announcing my ranking to the world, but I would appreciate it if they would just tell me first. It is NOT NICE letting me hear about my ranking from other people who have absolutely no business in knowing how well/badly I've performed relative to the rest of the cohort. So yes, I am offended. I only found out about my rank when F, the gp tutor, again announced, without telling me or E (classmate) that the 2 of us got into the top 50 in the school. And then, he announced that I came in 9th. I don't think it's very nice to go around telling other people my ranking, and I sure as hell don't think it's very inspiring to others. It probably makes them think it justified to call me a nerd.
Walk away this time, with my head up high. Walk away, just me and myself. Walk away in pride, nothing left to hide. But it just feels right to be one, and just walk away.
Then today, I purchased the GP bulletin and I found MY ESSAY for the question on "has equality caused women to become men" which I attempted last year for an exam. I subsequently topped the question and was asked to type out and submit my essay, giving it in the form of my last diskette, with my NAME and CLASS clearly indicated on the label. The next thing I know, I'm staring at my very own essay and it comes under the name of ANONYMOUS. Wow, suddenly, the school feels I don't have a name? If they had the guts to publish my essay, I would reckon they would have the guts to put my name there, wouldn't they? But no... mine had to be one out of the two that came under anonymous. But I gotta admit, there is a certain level of pride when you read your own essay in print. Still.. name please?!?!?!
I heard that the class is going to form a table to go for prom. Hahaha... you can never deter people desperate to go for prom from going, can you? I don't have much to say about that, maybe except I was looking forward to the cancellation of prom, just to be sadistic. I think it would have been interesting had it been cancelled. Can you imagine the reputation my cohort would gain among the 16 JCs in Singapore? It would scream out to all 15 other JCs: TJC FAILS TO HAVE PROM FOR 2005, IDEA THROWN OUT BY STUDENTS!! Of course, this would then sent ripples of "ARE THEY MAD?!?! HAVE THEY MUGGED SO MUCH THEY'VE GONE CUCKOO!?!?!" from students of the other JCs. Still.. I think it's amusing =P. Don't get me wrong, as a girl, I do somewhat enjoy the whole dressing up part of it, but it stops at the dressing up. Lol. The make-up is a NIGHTMARE because you do not want to go there looking like a hag or a witch (lol). Then when you get there, the heels will torture you for the rest of the night as you run from table to table. Of course, then you will have to try eating without making a fool of yourself lol. To do the whole dress up thing, I can see a much easier alternative. That would be to wait for my hundreds of relatives, most of whom I don't know, but I still get wedding invitations from people I don't know, to get married. At least I go away knowing that the food will be good, I get to bring home a mini souvenir and half the time, my relatives will remark "PHOEBE!! SO SLIM NOW AH!?!?!?!" Yes, I am slim now, as compared to the pudgy, obese person I was just an oh-so-recent 8 years ago. Of course with regards to the whole prom issue, my main problem would be the people. Haha, I don't hide the fact that I would throw my class into the fire if I could =P. 'Nuff said =)
I'm a 3rd year student in what is probably the largest autonomous university in Singapore majoring in a Science-related subject (well it sorta IS SCIENCE). I'm known to be introverted, sarcastic (at times), funny when I rant (which isn't a good thing lol) and somewhat of a loner. I miss LA and would move there in a heartbeat :(
